HATES TO DATE:

Anyone that knows me, knows that I say I hate alot of things... I have lost count of the amount of declarations of hatred I have made about the world, and I feel that now is the time to build a list of all those things that Edd... just hates... I expect that this page will become larger than the web itself... but that is fine. I apologise if I offend anyone in the course of this hatred... Don't worry I'm sure I don't directly hate you... there's no need to hate real people.

1000 hates but not counting any more?
...
(This might not be reflected in the list below, at a point in the past many a hate were lost in the great fire...)


Additions as of 07/05/09...

That sense of unease and desperation you get as you think that noone really likes you because you are a tired and bitter, hating old man...

Additions as of 06/05/09...

The sudden distraught/horrified/hating glare that people now give you if you sneeze in their close proximity, as if you are mutant scum...

Additions as of 02/05/09...

People who drive huge 4x4s in cities, and never get them dirty or use the 4 wheel functionality - Hospitals in both their necessity and their depressing aura - The huge paranoia and fear that the press can create out of nothing, just to make a story...

Additions as of 01/05/09...

When there is so little time in life you forget about / update all the less important things - Buying products (such as headphones) that you cannot test until you have bought them, and then you cannot take them back (because you have stuck them in your ears) - When your boss or your senior blames you for something that is not your fault, but explaining that it was not your fault would take far more effort and cause more problems than just admitting it and apologising - The price, and elusivity of festival tickets - That 30 minute webpage refresh spree that one puts themselves through just to a buy previously mentioned expensive ticket, only to find that the tickets all sold out minutes ago - People who use the word "mate" in an agressive "I'm not your mate" kind of fashion - When your main connection to the city starts shutting at 10PM for three months for no explicable reason other than apparently sanding down the stairs' handrails - Having to walk an extra mile (while wheeling a double bass) because said connection is shut - The logistical complexities of playing the double bass - When ticket machines at stations break down, and huge queues form waiting for the one attendant to sell you a ticket making everyone angry and late - When you quit your job, but are guilt tripped into staying far longer than you want to because you feel sorry for the company - That no matter when you tune in to watch TV, nothing is ever on - That noone uses the "term tune" in any more - When the battery runs out on your remote, you have no spares, and for some inexplicable reason the remote is the only way to control the TV - When you are drinking alcohol before or during a long trip and then need to stop to go to the toilet every few minutes, but the people who have not been drinking refuse to stop and tell you it is your own fault for drinking so much - Service stations - Toilets you have to pay for...

Additions as of 31/03/09...

Chapped-lips - When you start to feel ill just at the point where it is absolutely imperative that you do not get ill...

Additions as of 20/03/09...

Those 15 seconds or so you are supposed to wait when you restart computer hardware...

Additions as of 19/03/09...

Pubs/bars/clubs that do not have their own website, so you cannot check what is on, on a certain day - When you cannot afford to eat healthily so you feel really shit - That computers are not quite advanced enough to scan in writing and convert it to text without errors, so you have to type up huge documents that have already been written out...

Additions as of 07/03/09...

When you have so much stuff with you that you are guaranteed to leave something behind at some point...

Additions as of 06/03/09...

Stitches in all their forms...

Additions as of 04/03/09...

That being angry and shouting at people to get things done gets you much further in this world than being calm and reasonable...

Additions as of 02/03/09...

Those little bits of food you get stuck between your teeth and cannot get out - That what you think you want, and what you actually need are nearly always two entirely different things...

Additions as of 01/03/09...

That the tube does not open until 7 30 on a sunday, making it hard to leave clubs, mashed, and get the tube - Venues that do not display their address or map prominantly on their website...

Additions as of 27/02/09...

The screams of children during their play-time - WMDs - The way WMDs sounds like a euphemism, more like a cool toy rather than the end of mankind...

Additions as of 24/02/09...

When your boiler breaks, leaving you cold and with no hot water - Not being able to have a hot shower in the morning - People who do not tie up their bin bags - When all the eggs / milk / flour sells out on pancake day, leaving you having to buy the most expensive ingredients to make a dish that is meant to use up all your old stock...

Additions as of 22/02/09...

Getting the last of the liquid out of shampoo bottles (also applies to other products) - CD or DVDs that do not have their name on the side, so when stored in a rack it is not obvious what it is until you take it out...

Additions as of 20/02/09...

Questions of a yes or no nature, of which either answer would be terrible - That you will never be able to hear your own music from the perspective of a new listener...

Additions as of 19/02/09...

Glitzy award shows and everything about them...

Additions as of 18/02/09...

My penchant for going through serious mental redefinitions every few years - That one's own mind is often harder to understand than any other - That children have the natural ability to learn but not the desire, and adults have desire but not ability...

Additions as of 14/02/09...

Messages that are worded nicely but actually have a rather hurtful deliberate undertone - The queues in the supermarket on a Saturday afternoon, especially if you have only gone to buy bread - The ridiculous fake science that cosmetic adverts spin to sell products...

Additions as of 12/02/09...

Over-analysing every little thing - Trying to convince parents that there is more to life than work and money - That facebook seems to want me to send a valentine's gift to every girl or boy I look at the profile of...

Additions from 04/07/07 to 11/02/09

Additions as of 11/02/09 - The complete lack of control one has over their feelings...

Additions as of 09/02/09 - Saying stupid things while drunk - When power-tripping bouncers are cocks that just will not see reason even if it whips them in the face - The constant threat of your own mortality...

Additions as of 05/02/09 - People who hold umbrellas at eye height - Roads that are covered with a sheet of ice - Drinking water from a kettle after you have seen the limescale inside it...

Additions as of 03/02/09 - That the country's transport system collapses under small amounts of snow - Walking around miles of empty queue line ropes to reach the front because ducking underneath them is not allowed - Dirty canteen café coffee - Concussion...

Additions as of 28/01/09 - When you are having one of those days where everything you do seems to go wrong - People not having pity for people who are having such days...

Additions as of 26/01/09 - The confusion caused by using the prefix "next [insert weekday]" and whether or not they actually mean the next [weekday] or next week's - When you try to explain a simple statement but the wording just comes out all complicated and incomprehensible - Hammering your thumb - When the ends of screws are too worn down to turn - Not owning power tools which would turn your hour long job into five minutes...

Additions as of 24/01/09 - Automated voice activated helplines...

Additions as of 23/01/09 - Being a third wheel - When someone objects to going to a restaurant / take-away because it sells fattening food, only when you eventually convince them they should eat there, they pick the most unhealthy food possible as if to mock you and prove their point...

Additions as of 22/01/09 - All those little jobs that you have months to finish, so you leave them and then suddenly you have no time to do them and get swamped with too much work at once...

Additions as of 21/01/09 - Screws and nails that break mid-application - When an object has something cheaply stuck on to it to make it appear to be something far more valuable, but actually makes it look even cheaper - Trying to retrieve a sound post from within a stinged instrument...

Additions as of 16/01/09 - Trying to remember all those bands and musicians you wanting to listen to but have subsequently forgotten...

Additions as of 14/01/09 - When someone puts their freezing cold hands on you and thinks it's funny - That queezy feeling you get just after you have clicked send on a really important e-mail and know you cannot get it back...

Additions as of 11/01/09 - Trying to buy milk on an early Sunday morning - All those things you hate, but cannot write about because it would cause offense or trouble - Trying to get rid of the cardboard you get with large deliveries...

Additions as of 07/01/09 - When a download link says "your download will begin in a few moments" and it does not...

Additions as of 06/01/09 - When your neighbour complains you are making too much noise at a perfectly reasonable hour, leaving a note on your door threatening to complain to the landlord - When you get up bright an early for an appointment, only to discover it is the wrong day - Not having the current year's diary - When you phone up a help centre to complain about the broken item only to fix it when you are talking to them - The viciousness with which the tube doors shut - Signal failures - The trippy feeling you get when you are really tired but still need to concentrate - Playing the only instrument with which it is impossible to sit down playing...

Additions as of 02/01/09 - When you phone the wrong person because they have a very similar name in your phone book as the person you are trying to phone - Trampolines while drunk - People who learn lots of songs on their instrument but do not actually have any creative talent of their own - Those slightly z shaped blocks in tetris that never quite fit where you want them...

Additions as of 30/12/08 - When your housemate goes on holiday but has cooked a big meal the night before and leaves without tidying up the mess they've made in the kitchen. - When for some reason there are absolutely no bowls or mugs because a housemate has been stockpiling them. - The use of sandwich toasters or george formans, which subsequently sit on the kitchen counter and become impossible to clean after a few days - People who refuse to apologise after doing something they know is wrong...

Additions as of 24/12/08 - Working on days when noone else seems to be working - Being the last person to leave the house before a holiday and having to do all those little checks - That nervous feeling you get when you think you might have forgotten to do something after you have left to go on holiday and cannot go back - The fact that you are nervous about these things even though you are certain you have done them...

Additions as of 23/12/08 - Non-uniformed paper sizes...

Additions 22/12/08 - Aligning pages of hole punch holes with hole punch files - Frying pans that everything sticks to everything you cook in them - People with obviously fake names...

Additions as of 20/12/08 - The word "phat" and people that think to use the word "phat...

Additions as of 19/12/08 - Having a cold - Blowing your nose so much it gets all sore and red - That continual drizzle of snot that flows from your nose when you have a cold - Not being able to taste your food when you have a cold - That chocolate advent calenders look like scraps of rubbish stuck to your wall when you have scratched open most of the foil flaps - That £85 at the Ritz cannot even buy you a meal to stave off the hunger - When restaurant waiters deliberate wait around you to refill your drinks instantly, making you drink far more than you would ordinarily and then charge you later for the amount you have drunk - When someone is mad at something unrelated but they take their anger out on you - And sentences that begin with and...

Additions as of 18/12/08 - Entry stamps that do not wash off the morning after - That the media industry thinks you can stick large glasses on a beautiful woman and then call them a geek, to sell to the geek community...

Additions as of 17/12/08 - That the internet is so impossibly large to comprehend and expanding daily that you could never read all of even a small proportion of it - That the internet is at least 50% porn - That I still spend my time on the internet looking at the same 10 or so sites...

Additions as of 15/12/08 - When you realise that someone can see your computer screen through a reflection or a mirror when you are looking at something you shouldn't be...

Additions as of 13/12/08 - Hot water taps that never get hot - Cold water taps that come out warm - Drinking warm water - When your noisy neighbour complains to you for making "bedroom noises" - Euphemisms...

Additions as of 10/12/08 - The embarrassment when phoning a foreign country and having to interrupt the speaker and explaining you are English, at which point they instant flick to English leaving you feeling stupid because you cannot speak both languages - When something says "please wait", and you wait so long that you cannot decide whether you just have to wait longer or it is simply broken...

Additions as of 09/12/08 - The constant pressure of having to find work when you are unemployed - How long it takes to wash up cuttlery - When you cannot stop yourself from hating something even though you know it is an irrational or unneccesary hatred...

Additions as of 05/12/08 - Having to listen to terrible music as a gesture of good-will to musicians playing with you on the same night - Telling beautiful woman their music sucks...

Additions as of 28/11/08 - Trying to find a band with a really generic name on the internet / myspace that a friend recommended - The amount of crap and terrible music that exists on myspace...

Additions as of 21/11/08 - Spending so much money getting drunk you don't remember any of the night and thus have wasted the money getting drunk - How much it costs to get drunk - Plastic beer glasses - Beer that tastes of plastic, whether its in a plastic glass or not - When you change an answer in a pub quiz against your better judgement at the last moment only to find out that the original answer was correct - People who disagree with your correct answer, and put down their own wrong answer - Losing a pub quiz by half a point when you would have won if only you hadn't changed that answer - Stepping on slugs with bare feet - Taking out the rubbish - When no one has taken out the rubbish and it all piles up over the edge of the bin - Running out of washing powder, when you really need to do some washing - The new update for Xbox360 Live, which has turned it into a kids play pen that constantly crashes - That you have to have an 'avatar' on the new update - People who pretend to be someone they are not on the internet and use it for perverted / malicious purposes - Targeted advertising...

Additions as of 13/11/08 - Really inappropriate thoughts that you just can't get out of your head - When you are so tired that every action you do results in disaster...

Additions as of 07/11/08 - When noone knows who put the money down on a pool table - Playing a game of pool or snooker in an area with not enough room to cue - Crazy/drunk people in pubs or bars who come and join your groups conversations without invitation and ruin it, forcing you to leave - When you cannot stop yourself repeating the same phrase over and over (at the moment I'm stuck on "yeh...no"... horrible)...

Additions as of 06/11/08 - That all expensive gadgets get scratched screens within a week of use - Musicians who are too up their own asses to talk to the people they are playing with - Unresponsive crowds that have no interest and will deliberately ignore all music other than the band they came to see...

Additions as of 29/10/08 - Waiting for the toilet cistern to refill...

Additions as of 24/10/08 - That phoning 0800 numbers costs money from a mobile - When you are passed around call centre like a rubber ball...

Additions as of 23/10/08 - That computer games always offer so much before release, but always fail to deliver what you expect...

Additions as of 22/10/08 - Dust covers on books that inevitably get ripped or lost - Those cardboard box covers that special edition DVDs have especially if the serve no purpose and take up more room on the DVD shelf - DVD shelves that do not fit DVDs - Books that are too big to fit on book shelves - That thermostats never seem to be at the right temperature...

Additions as of 09/10/08 - People who pick and choose which part of their religion they wish to follow, to suit their own life-style, and still claim to be religious.

Additions as of 08/10/08 - The standard office inbox, which ensures that all new items will be dealt with first as they go on to the top, and items at the bottom will never be seen...

Additions as of 15/08/08 - Violent drunken comedians - Having to chase people for money - When your most expensive piece of equipment gets broken in a bar-room brawl...

Additions as of 12/08/08 - When logical items simply make no logical sense - Getting into work when you are really tired and then suddenly being confronted by a mound of unexpected work - Random police searches which are not random at all...

Additions as of 07/08/08 - HSBC Securecode, that adds nothing to security - Any internet passwords, especially the most secure ones, that do not allow special characters such as # etc, actually making them less secure - When you get confused between .com and .co.uk or whatever and you become convinced that a website does not exist or get scammed by a different site...

Additions as of 04/08/08 - Those giant belts girls wear that do not serve a practical belt-like purpose...

Additions as of 01/08/08 - Carrying large instruments on public transport, especially if the driver will not let you - Being at a foreign train station and not understanding the announcements that your train has changed platform, leaving you to get on one going the wrong way - The price of bottled water - The feeling of your hands after you have applied sun-tan lotion - The price of anything in Monaco - That casinos only ever have pointless addictive slot-machines filled with fat americans staring away gormlessly as if it has eaten their soul, and no real men's games, except in the inaccessable back rooms - That only the rich and famous and the well-dressed can enter these back rooms...

Additions as of 17/07/08 - People who work inefficiently, and then expect you to follow their inefficient style because it is the only thing they know and refuse to acknowledge differently...

Additions as of 09/07/08 - When a large size in a cafe is exactly the same as a medium size, just with a more expensive price tag - The cost of drinking in Dublin - Waiting in for something thats supposed to arrive in the morning then it doesn't appear until the afternoon - When you agree with a company something, and then when the thing is installed, what you get is something different, and they claim you are just confused...

Additions as of 02/07/08 - Earphones that hurt your ears - Earphones that do not block out outside noise - The fact that to know if you like earphones you have to take them out of packaging and use them, and that means you cannot take them back...

Additions as of 26/06/08 - Flash adverts that are so badly built they slow your computer down to a half-mutilated snail, and you never wanted to view them in the first place...

Additions as of 25/06/08 - The "interested in" section on facebook. By which I mean, if someone randomly asked you what you were "interested in", you would not normally reply with your sexual preference?...

Additions as of 11/06/08 - When you get blamed for other people's failings - That signed for delivery will almost always deliver when you are not in...

Additions as of 02/06/08 - Back pain...

Additions as of 27/05/08 - Toasters that do not pop the toast out enough to reach comfortably with a hand, and instead rely on a death defying fork intrusion attempt - People that think you can get electrocuted by sticking something metal into a toaster - Random back pains - This facebook group that clearly stole my idea http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=5075135266"

Additions as of 23/05/08 - When the office runs out of coffee and you are forced into either not being able to function at a coherent level or drink two year out of date instant...

Additions as of 22/05/08 - Having to sit in the middle of a row of seats on a plane, so if you need the toilet you have to wake the person next to you - Ineffective cheap malaria tablets that make you crazy - When you are confronted with a choice between having fun and doing the right thing - The new facebook feature that recommends friends to you, as if that person wants to be friend with you and notifies you of these, even though it seems to be an arbitrary choice...

Additions as of 20/05/08 - People who just throw rubbish on the floor, even when there is a bin near them - That it is weird and socially unacceptable to pick up and bin other peoples' trash...

Additions as of 19/05/08 - The paranoia of when your bosses talk to each other privately, and you assume it will be about you and your lack of doing any productive work - Doing productive work - That hating doing productive work causes the paranoia, and so the cycle returns...

Additions as of 08/05/08 - Sentences with "that that" in - Almandine's stupidly overheated office...

Additions as of 07/05/08 - When something you rely on being updated regularly, just stops for no reason - Having to work on your birthday - The 'do I say, don't I say' situation about birthdays and work - The scream of the urban fox - The disturbing nature of the "Make Yourself Amazing" cosmetic surgery advert on the side of facebook showing a very attractive but ultimately 15 year old girl - Unnecessary cosmetic surgery - People who think you must close all the windows to have the A/C on...

Additions as of 30/04/08 - When you have to leave festivals a day early due to work commitments you cannot get out of - That no matter how easy you take a festival, you come out of it with a cold - Going back to work after days off - When you are forced into social events for work that you do not want to go to, for the sake of work relations and inevitably miss out on something much more fun...

Additions as of 23/04/08 - When supermarkets change where they stock everything leaving you lost and hopelessly confused - Websites that do not begin with www. so when you type in their address you get some spam site instead...

Additions as of 19/04/08 - Being sued - Lawyers who are not practising law to help people, but to hinder and make money - that facebook seems to want to dampen my hatred by deleting my old hates - that I never back up anything, which inevitably I lose...

Salvaged hates from my profile:
-Text Speech - Children - American accents - Music created just to sell records (or not as the case is any more since no-one buys records any more) - Decaffinated Coffee - Plastic cups given out in bars - The fact that computers go out of date ten seconds after you buy them - Computers that work one second then break the next, they are supposed to be logical DAMMIT - That women can wear anything they like to an office and men are stuck in shirts, even more if they have to wear ties - People who argue with me philosophically - People who do not argue with me philosophically - Anything that stops Neighbours being shown - Channel five - Capitalist society - The fact that I never have any money - Drunks - Not being drunk - Any software licensed by Adobe, or Microsoft for that matter - Microsoft in general - Ipods - DRM's and the people who think they can possibly work - queues - people who moan while in queues, seriously it does not help - the spelling of the word queue - How filthy all keyboards are - How people moan about germs, we have immune systems you know! - Sycophants - English weather - People who scale their lives on their jobs and possesions - How you get in trouble forgetting a birthday card - Simon Cowell - Any star created by a TV Program - Reality TV - Reality - TV in general - The masses that watch TV everynight - Myspace - People that think that having alot of Myspace equates to popularity - The fact that this is actually true - The price of Glastonbury tickets, and demand - YouTube - Organic food - Low-fat food - CD's, who designed media that could scratch so easiliy - Mobile phones - Spam mail - Spam phone calls - Viruses - The people who must create these Viruses - Anarchists - TV Stars that start a music career purely based on their popularity - People who buy this crap - The fact that news is now entertainment, not news - Shotgun rules - Students - Scenesters - Tight trousers - Cardigans - Booking fees on online tickets and the fact you have to pay for each ticket - Ticket Touts - Derren Brown, People it is fake! - IQ Tests for anyone under the age of 15, it's not big and it's certainly not clever - Psychological tests of groups of people, that pretend they are doing real science - the fact that all lists of countries start with United States, and then proceed in alphebetical order - Cars, and my general ability to destroy them - the general 'It's not my mess' ethic about most things in life - Daily Mail - People that read the Daily Mail - The spelling of headlines in the Daily Mail...

Additions as of 17/04/08 - When you copy a message that you know you will not see again, so that you can save it, and then forget, and copy something else and lose the original...

Additions as of 15/04/08 - The fact that our society is so wasteful in such a way that it is almost always cheaper to replace a non-consumable good than it is to repair...

Additions as of 12/04/08 - That smug sense of self importance the music shop workers have...

Additions as of 10/04/08 - When you cannot tell the difference between being hungry and stomach pain...

Additions as of 09/04/08 - Stomach pains - When people say or write things such as "as ASAP"...

Additions as of 07/04/08 - The way we make automatic snap judgements about people based on how they look, which are often misconceived but still seem to effect the way relate to them...

Additions as of 02/04/08 - My noisy neighbours - That for some reason dentists and opticians are not really part of the NHS, so you have to go to private and stupidly expensive clinics just to get check ups, which they recommend you should do almost annually, and then they tell you something is wrong, just to make more money...

Additions as of 31/03/08 - When people (especially critics) brandish about long philosophical terms in entirely superfluous, if not just plain wrong, ways just to make their sentence sound more intellectual...

Additions as of 28/03/08 - When your poo floats, and you have to wait around to flush it a second or third time...

Additions as of 26/03/08 - Jen's noisy neighbours...

Additions as of 25/03/08 - Being in backwater places that have no internet or computers - When you do not have phone signal, espcially if people expect you to reply to things - Rain - When you have to shave and have a hair cut to look respectable for a job - When you cannot use an appliance because you have lost the remote...

Additions as of 20/03/08 - Things that continue to say "new" on them for over a year...

Additions as of 13/03/08 - When you do an exam and then have to talk about if afterwards, no matter how determined you are not to - When e-mails you know you have received just disappear from your inbox and you are fairly certain you would not have deleted them...

Additions as of 12/03/08 - When you have a computerised list that won't let you skip from top to bottom - Tutorials that tell you what to do, but not why...

Additions as of 11/03/08 - The Financial Times...

Additions as of 07/03/08 - When you see someone you think you vaguely know walking past on the street and you are unsure whether to stop and say hello or just to politely acknowledge them - When the above happens at traffic lights and you are forced to look across the road at them, smiling, until the lights change and you then have to either choose to stop at your side and speak to them, and thus embarrass yourself if they then do not stop, or quickly acknowledge them in the middle of the street and walk on past - The fact the none of the above ever happens in London, because the chances of bumping into someone you know is so minute...

Additions as of 06/03/08 - When you do not know the gender of someone you need to call Mr or Mrs or Ms etc - That whatever you write as detailed in the previous hate, you are almost certain to be wrong...

Additions as of 05/03/08 - Whining mothers complaining how their children did not get into a school of their choice, insisting it was not the fault of the child (and thus themselves) but the schools - People who change religion just to get into higher rated religious schools - When a legal contract is so generalised that the only variation occurs in an annex, which is the one part that is missing, rendering the whole rest of the document useless...

Additions as of 04/03/08 - When you slightly need the toilet just before bed, not enough to warrant going, but enough so that you know you will wake in the middle of the night and have to go thus ruining your sleep...

Additions as of 03/03/08 - Bathroom mould - Cash machines that do not give out cash - Call centres - That I have hated so much, I now assume that if they are fairly standard and non-idiosyncratic I will have already hated it, even if I have not - Button-up cuffs...

Additions as of 01/03/08 - Oranges...

Additions as of 29/02/08 - Working on days you technically don't get paid for - House hunting - Toilet cubicles that are too small to squeeze into, especially if you are carrying a bag...

Additions as of 28/02/08 - When you accidentally print the entire of a document instead of the one single page you wanted...

Additions as of 27/02/08 - The stupid drunk/high dance that indie lead singers post Pete Doherty do - People who are ignorant of a genre of music comparing all music within said genre to the most famous group within that genre...

Additions as of 26/02/08 - The way celebrities seem to think that because they are rich and famous they can turn their eye to any art form and be talented at it, they fail, yet everyone still buys all their tainted shit...

Additions as of 25/02/08 - The stupid made up names of celebrities - The resurgence of Stallone...

Additions as of 22/02/08 - Really sappy quotes that people think are inspirational, like "if you don't try, you'll never get" or "If you aim at nothing you'll hit it"...

Additions as of 19/02/08 - When train delays cause you to miss all your connections...

Additions as of 18/02/08 - When music reviews do not give you an idea of what the music they are reviewing actually sounds like...

Additions as of 16/02/08 - When your head feels like wool...

Additions as of 15/02/08 - That once something has happened you can never go back and find out what would have happened if you had done something else, but you can spend an eternity thinking about it - When old people try to use young people's words to sound cool - Secret tracks on the end of albums after 10 minutes of silence...

Additions as of 14/02/08 - Valentine's day - Escape games that lack logic and still waste your life away...

Additions as of 13/02/08 - The price of soft drinks in pubs or bar, compared to what the pub or bar pays for them - That the cost of a small bottled drink is usually the same or more expensive than the cost of a pint...

Additions as of 12/02/08 - That nonsensical is a word, but sensical is not (totally nonsensical, sorry...) - That venues/bars/pubs never have their events calenders up to date on their (usually plush but pointless) websites...

Additions as of 11/02/08 - People who say it is good luck to be crapped on by birds - Toothache - The worry that all your teeth might fall out and they won't grow back like the first lot did - Bars and pubs that play music so loud that you cannot even hold a conversation with the person next to you - The ridiculous scores everyone else seems to be getting on jetman - The noxious fumes that keep escaping from my ass since my stomach broke down...

Additions as of 10/02/08 - The squits...

Additions as of 08/02/08 - When you go to make tea (or a bowl of cereal) only to find there is no milk in the fridge - When it is a beautiful day outside and you are trapped in dark depressing room working - When birds shit on you - Being blinded by the sun...

Additions as of 07/02/08 - Sex when you have a cold...

Additions as of 06/02/08 - The advert that is everywhere in London for some second hand car company with the face of a man smirking, who you just want to squash his eyes out with a spoon, promoting adultery and breaking up families - Being the last one to know - People who think that the moon landing was faked...

Additions as of 05/02/08 - Gossip, especially in a malicious form - Having to have the correct change for the bus - Telephone interviews - When you phone up an order company to order one simple thing and have to listen to all their special offers they have on that are entirely unrelated to what you want - Any job description that requests for individuals who are "money orientated" - When you have not done the washing in a long time and are forced to wear a dirty pair or horribly old pairs of underwear - Cleaning up after parties - When you are surprised by a question in a restaurant about how you would like your food and have no idea what the right response is, making you look stupid or uncivilised - The whole concept of we have of people who don't know things or do things in the wrong manner, being uncouth (for example: not knowing what wine to have with what, wanting their meat extremely well done, putting ketchup on things etc) - Having to register for Glastonbury tickets in February when you have no idea whether you will want to be going or not come summer...

Additions as of 04/02/08 - Finding the end of the sticky-tape - That printing the same document on two different printers turns out entirely different, and you have no idea which one is correct - When bouncers will not let people into clubs without good reason - When cricket is played in a totally different time zone making it impossible to watch...

Additions as of 01/02/08 - When months disappear without you noticing, or doing, anything - When you type in your username wrong and it is alphabetically higher up than your correct username. This results in your clever browser giving you the autofill option for the incorrect spelling first, for the rest of eternity...

Additions as of 31/01/08 - Installing cartridges in printers that are so intelligent they refuse to accept you have changed the cartridge and will then refuse to print any more...

Additions as of 30/01/08 - When you tear your fingernail enough to make it bleed...

Additions as of 29/01/08 - When you are trying to find something on web you have found before, but cannot remember how...

Additions as of 28/01/08 - Starting a new roll of toilet / kitchen paper - Anything that reads "which **** (insert some pop / cult reference) are you?" - People who impose their beliefs or morals upon you, especially if they are doing it for their own egoistic / evangelical desires...

Additions as of 24/01/08 - People who incessantly press the open door button on trains before the light comes on, or even while the door is already opening in some kind of crazed hope that it will open faster - Toilet brushes (I know, but hear this out) they get covered in crap, and are really hard to clean and end up stinking in the corner, and the only thing they are useful is for cleaning a thing that has its own self cleaning mechanism...

Additions as of 21/01/08 - Umbrellas - Umbar-ella-ella - When friends get unreasonable girlfriends/boyfriends who stop said friend from having fun with other friends...

Additions as of 18/01/08 - The great mangled mess of wires that lies behind computers - That new printers do not come with cables to attach them to your computer...

Additions as of 16/01/08 - The spelling of absorption, then contrasted with the spelling of absorb...

Additions as of 15/01/08 - When motorcylists or scooters decide they are allowed to go through pedestrian lights or along pathways because they are small enough...

Additions as of 14/01/08 - When the room just won't stop spinning - Windows genuine advantage - When you have the good intentions of going to bed early to get a good nights sleep but in the end just cannot sleep and wake up tired in the morning - 666 and the whole relation to the devil thing...

Additions as of 11/01/08 - Things that cost a ludicrous price, because they are specialised equipment, when they are exceptionally simple (and cheap) to make (see keyboard stands or double bass stools etc...) - Racing frogs...

Additions as of 10/01/08 - That nothing in life is as simple as it should be - When you have to register on a website just to see a certain page...

Additions as of 09/01/08 - websites that load up and start playing really loud music which you don't seem to be able to turn off - WWF Wrestling - That WWF (world wrestling federation) has the same name as WWF (world wildlife foundation) yet stand for entirely different things...

Additions as of 08/01/08 - When you go to step out of someone's way, but they step in the same direction, so you both step back again, and again, and again - Fruit flavoured muffins - When something is broken so you set about fixing it, only to realise after fixing the original problem you have broken something else in the fixing process...

Additions as of 07/01/08 - Picking up your guitar after listening to John Fahey - When you leave your mobile phone unlocked in your pocket and send 27 empty messages to random people and use up all your credit...

Additions as of 03/12[01?]/08 - Forgetting to change the year date at the beginning of a new year - My mind at 9AM...

Additions as of 02/12[01?]/07[8?] - When your memory of a night entirely disappears - People who change their status updates in facebook from third to first person half way through...

Additions as of 27/12/07 - When you sign up for a service only to find a really good offer on the same service the next day, for which you now can not apply for - When you buy something only to find it on sale the next day...

Additions as of 26/12/07 - Country rock...

Additions as of 24/12/07 - The eitquette of holding the door open, for the following beautfully worded reason: "if you are the opener then you have to quickly decide whether or not the person beind you is close enough to warrant holding the door for them, which is complicated because if it's a tricky call then you hesitate before deciding they are too far away, but by the time you've hesitated they have caught up and then you drop it right on their face.
if you are the openee then you have to quicken your pace so that the opener isn't waiting too long then when you get there they have either let go of the door too soon so that as you reach it, it has just reached terminal back swing velocity and it's harder to get through than a fully shut door OOOOOOOORR, they don't let go of the door quickly enough and obstruct your passage more than a shut door would anyway
to add salt to the wound you have to thank them, your only consolation being to add a muttered insult to the end of the thanks" Courtesy of Rob Gammon - When you accidentally get sellotape on your present you are wrapping, and in the process of taking off this selotape you rip all colour off and ruin it - Having to watch a years worth of family photos in one session - That because everyone uses digital cameras now, we all have to stare at little laptop screens to view the pictures - That xD cards are not compatible with SD card players (which means that the TV can't take them) - Christmas carol singing, sorry but it is out of tune, out of time and the music is just terrible and boring anyway, the only reason we still put up with it is because we were brought up with it, which is just stupid...

Additions as of 22/12/07 - When every single one of your xbox 360 wireless controllers has run out of batteries, even though you are sure you only just replaced them a few days ago - When you drive miles to buy something you really need, only to find they have sold out...

Additions as of 21/12/07 - When the coffee machine runs out of coffee in the morning - That the public transport system was empty today suggesting to me that there are far too many lucky buggers who had already packed up for Christmas...

Additions as of 20/12/07 - When pillars get in the way of your view at gig venues...

Additions as of 19/12/07 - Those days when you just feel tired for no reason - The ridiculously long signatures and disclaimers that people in giant multi-national corporations have in their e-mails that take up half a page, so when ever you go to print out an e-mail chain with them you end up using all your printer paper and ink for a 4 e-mail conversation - That my life has become so depressingly office orientated that things like that really grind my gears - Opening heavy doors - That someone can make money and a living out of the following: "Bespoke treasure hunts for your company that can cater for you Christmas or Easter"...

Additions as of 18/12/07 - Those little clips that neurotic people put on cereal packets - People who complain about the price of petrol as if somehow supply and demand will suddenly change in their favour - All the incredibly affluent people who drive themselves to work (especially in London) creating huge traffic jams, and giving the reason for not using public transport as "It's not very nice" -That the London bus service averages 8 people per bus. Which uses up more petrol than driving all of them around in individual limosines....

Additions as of 17/12/07 - The pure embarrassment that is my lack of flexibility - The incessant need to write more than one line in e-mails that only have one lines worth of information (so you end up writing a few lines of crap filler just to fill the void)...

Additions as of 14/12/07 - When you run into an impossible wall in Jetman...

Additions as of 13/12/07 - Those awkward conversations you have to start with work colleagues at christmas parties - Those sighing noises that people make during the silence when they don't know what to discuss after all the original phatic communion is done with - When you accidentally send invitations to crap applications on facebook to EVERYONE because you clicked continue without really reading the whole page - That thetrainline.com has started charging for postage of tickets, and to add further insult to this injury they charge for the the electronic station pick up too, 50-fucking-pence for me to go up to a machine and waste my life typing in a code it probably won't accept FUCK YOU, (I used fgw for anyone interested) - When adverts on facebook pretend or outright lie to you, for example "2 of your friends have a crush on you" (which we know from the outset is false, patently) but it brings me up, only to crash me down painfully to Earth, after I click on it to reveal an infinite string of deadly pop-ups - Joaquin Pheonix's face...

Additions as of 12/12/07 - When your curly haired idol turns out to be a hobo-ear mashing maniac - That I have no time to do christmas shopping - That you can now do christmas shopping over the internet, which means I do have time and lose the previous excuse, but instead of spending my avoiding work internet time solving my shopping problems, I write about them on facebook - That rich people think they are better than poor people for no other reason than they have more money - When C4 finishes its loop of Simpsons and has to start from the old crappy beginning all over again...

Additions as of 11/12/07 - The pressure to send everyone you deem worthy a christmas card - The erratic nature of the mind - Getting ID'd when you have no form of ID upon you - People who are stupid enough not to carry ID on them...

Additions as of 07/12/07 - People who use pretentious English language words - Commercial Radio stations - When you make a spur of the moment joke, but no-one hears it correctly and then someone asks you to repeat it. you try to get out of it because it really wasn't that funny in the first place and now the moment has completely gone, but that only causes more people in the room to be interested in what you said and then you are forced to repeat it with much embarrassment...

Additions as of 06/12/07 - The word "cleave" for it has two synonyms that are antonyms of each other, and that in a logical world makes no sense (for the sake of people who did not study English Language, here is a translation of the above: Cleave can be defined as both adhering and separating (synonyms) but these two words are opposites of each other (antonyms), and this proves English is a big pile of turd)...

Additions as of 05/12/07 - The person who decided they could buy plots of land on the moon, and then sell them as cheesy presents (I don't disagree with the present idea, I disagree with the ownership from the beginning), the same applies for owning stars - The number "quajilion" - The definition of"googolplex"...

Additions as of 04/12/07 - Keane - That baby chimpanzees have a better memory than I do (and it is scientifically proven) - Fax Machines (they are outdated, unreliable, receive tons of waster paper spam and yet people still insist on using them)...

Additions as of 03/12/07 - That no matter how good you are at something, there will always be at least the amount of people that the world needs, in that field, who are better than you...

Additions as of 31/11/07 - The dust that forms at the bottom of your cereal packet, and then empties into your last bowl ruining it...

Additions as of 30/11/07 - When lightbulbs blow and you cannot find the torch or the replacement bulbs - Trying to tear paper in a straight line - When restaurants automatically add service change to a bill, yet you still feel inclined to pay more - When you go out in the rain wearing slightly long trousers and the rain soaks all up the bottom bit of your trousers and makes your legs wet - When you get splashed by passing cars or buses...

Additions as of 29/11/07 - When you stand on sharp things with bare feet - When your bread does not fit whole into your toaster...

Additions as of 27/11/07 - When you know there are a 1000 things that are urgent for you to do but you just can't think of any, until suddenly they all fall directly on you crushing you, like a tiny fly squashed beneath a boulder of freshly printed cartridge paper - That ls look exactly like capital Is in certain fonts, and neither look that different to 1...

Additions as of 26/11/07 - When weekends disappear without you noticing - My inability to say "no and go away" to sales people...

Additions as of 25/11/07 - The way old computer games do not work on new systems...

Additions as of 23/11/07 - When people use acronyms without ever expaining what they mean so that someone reading a document they have written can make no sense of it...

Additions as of 22/11/07 - When you permanently have to sniff or snort or cover your nose or run to the toilet because your nose is dripping snot faster than a tap - Any of your friends who are not on facebook so you cannot use the really useful organising tool that it is to its full potential - The fact that I have to admit the previous, and presumably this corporate tool has taken over my life and soul (note: soul is meant in a purely figurative way (is it not always?) I do not believe in such an entity) - People who say "Oh it must be Christmas, the coca-cola advert is on" - All these people who keep posting pictures of themselves on amazing trips round the world, having allegedly mind changing experiences while the rest of us sit here at allegedly mind changing boring jobs - Jealous bitter people - when people ask a question that isn't really a question but an excuse to show off something they know the answer to already...

Additions as of 21/11/07 - All these people who complain about how early the christmas lights go up - How early christmas lights go up - That the oxford street lights are just one big advertisement - That we all celebrate an event that is not even relevant to most of our lives...

Additions as of 20/11/07 - When you go out for dinner as a group and everyone swears they have paid, but you are always one persons meal short - When restaurants charge you things they bring out seemingly for free (bread, water etc) - When you lose your voice but still have to answer the phone - The ridiculous world of job titles...

Additions as of 19/11/07 - The sticky substance that resides on club floors - When your shoes and socks get soaked through and your feet become horrible wrinkled stinky rot - People that have absolutely no comprehension of mathematics - When your bin gets ripped apart by something in the night, leaving wet bits of crap strewn across the front of your house - That bin men (or recycling men) do not take things that do not fit exactly in your bins (or recycling boxes) and take nothing else - Whenever someone asks me "What are you doing now?" - The pointlessness of mild cheddar - Tea that is in fact more milk than tea (or just incredibly weak tea) - Grumpy shopkeepers (why work in customer contact roles if you're a grumpy old sod? For fucks sake, go become a parking attendant)...

Additions as of 16/11/07 - When you are sure there must be something funny to say, but you just cannot think of it, so you say something stupid instead - Any American spelling which changes an s into a z, especially if your spell checker then thinks you have spelt it wrong - That my spell checker seems to think "spelt" is not a word - That "alot" is in fact two words (and infact for that matter)...

Additions as of 15/11/07 - Mouth Ulcers - When you are trying to trying to re-create an original version of something to improve it, and no matter how hard you try you just can't help but fail - Having to be PC - When you get in trouble for accidentally being non-PC, even though you meant it in a entirely unhurtful - All these adverts that I keep seeing on-line that suggest you can receive a new technological product for free (or for a very small charge) by signing up for certain services, and then you realise that the only reason you are seeing these adverts everywhere is because they have to get a certain amount of people signing up to receive the products for themselves - The syntax of my last hate - Pyramid schemes - Trying to fit paper into plastic folders (especially if they are already too full)...

Additions as of 14/11/07 - The smugness of people who work from home - The taste (not the idea) of sparkling mineral water - When you are telling a funny story that you realise half way through is not half as funny as you thought it might be, but you are obliged to finish it anyway - When you are obliged to laugh at someone else's unfunny story to stop them feeling bad, thus perpetuating bad story-telling - Having to write about yourself in a positive manner (see CV's, letters etc)...

Additions as of 13/11/07 - That because facebook is so popular, appearing in newspapers, TV etc, it is no longer feasible to get away with using it all day at work because everyone knows you are doing it, not just the people who use facebook anyway...

Additions as of 12/11/07 - Alarms that continuously go off during the night...

Additions as of 10/11/07 - People who spit on the pavement - When you are at the front row of a gig and then it slowly dawns on you that you really need the toilet, and all you can do for the rest of the show is think about not peeing yourself...

Additions as of 09/11/07 - People who believe that the best way to combat rising fuel prices (and not as an environmental campaign) is to boycott buying petrol for one day (and instead just top up the day before!) - Trying to explain what you mean early in the morning - All those little bits of facts that you believe to be true throughout your life, but turn out to be lies...

Additions as of 08/11/07 - The "open" buttons on the London underground, and the people who press them - People who pronounce the letter "h" as "hache" - Flat batteries - Being crushed into train carriages so much that you cannot even look down to read the paper - People who push in to queue lines, especially if they know they are doing it, but fain ignorance...

Additions as of 06/11/07 - The "I'm going to copy every other form of successful advertising, so that all adverts look the same" form of advertising - Shoelaces - That X-Box 360s do not have an internet browser inbuilt...

Additions as of 05/11/07 - The over-inflated prices at service stations, purely because they know they can - false economy - That the quickest way to see what is on TV is still teletext - Internet adverts that scroll down over what you are trying to read, and obviously when you click close on them they bring up a pop-up...

Additions as of 03/11/07 - How showers always start off cold, and it always takes half of your time in the shower playing with the knob (hehehe) to get to the temperature you wish - People who think terrible puns are terrible...

Additions as of 01/11/07 - That doctors are never open at times you can actually go to, and have to take holiday just to attend...

Additions as of 31/10/07 - When you cannot decide whether you should eat something and suffer possible chronic vomiting or stay hungry and watch as you wither away...

Additions as of 30/10/07 - Getting the sweats when you are ill...

Additions as of 29/10/07 - The constant desire to do things in excess when you can, and forget about the horrible consequences...

Additions as of 27/10/07 - Fools who ruin all the best laid plans...

Additions as of 26/10/07 - People who post links to porn - Porn websites and anyone who actually uses them - That I am impatient with people who cannot understand my English over the phone, but I refuse to learn any other languages - Hypocrisy in general - The fact that tickets for gigs always sell out before you even heard it was going to happen and you still know no-one who actually likes that kind of music - When you are all gassy and cannot stop farting - (this is going to be controversial but fuck it...) Illness 'awareness' days, who the hell is not 'aware' of breast cancer? (surely support is a better word, I suppose charities can't afford good advertising moguls, but they can have that for free) - Wallets without zips for change - Spilling change all over the place when you pull your wallet out of your pocket and then not being able to find half of it - That no-one helps an embarrassed old fool in this town...

Additions as of 25/10/07 - When a person with an extreme (and usually crazy) point of view starts randomly talking to you, and you cannot ignore the because your personal music player died and you are stuck on a train (or something), and they spurt racist or extreme political viewpoints at you and you cannot interrupt them for fear they might do something nasty, so you just nod away and hope that no-one notices that you are agreeing with a total loony, and you wish they would shut up, and you hope it is your stop soon, but it is not for ages, so you just get off early to avoid them and have to endure a long walk home (phew) - That you cannot edit wall posts you have made...

Additions as of 24/10/07 - When you are close, but no cigar - People who smell of shit on really packed trains, so you cannot even get away from them (that is the 500!) - When descriptions in manuals do not match the actual component - Receiving pointless messages from people or groups that you did not even know you were a part of - When you know all the different grammatical forms, but you still make mistakes because when you type or write you do not think about it, and then people heckle you for being stupid, when in fact you are just unmindful - Adverts that offer you the world, but infact provide you with bugger all - Raised voices - When you think someone is talking about you - When something you print comes out nothing like how it looks on the screen...

Additions as of 23/10/07 - When your high hopes are dashed by a tiny flaw - When best laid plans are made awry by fools - The amount of food Americans eat - Long haul flights - When planes to not have the amenities that they advertise - Being strapped into a seat with screaming kids all around you - That feeling you have when you think you have lost something really important - The foolishness you feel when you realise it is in your pocket - Any American spellings with a 'z' instead of an 's' - High action guitars - Getting out of bed on a cold winters morning - Going to work after having no sleep - Locking yourself out of your room or house, with the key trapped inside - When you deliberately get to airports early because of potential huge queues, but you end up having to wait hours in the departure lounge - Sudden nose bleeds - Anyone that manages to continue with the drunken student lifestyle past 21...

Additions as of 18/10/07 - When you have been typing a piece of work up for someone for hours, only to find after a quick search that someone else has already done it for you - Power cuts - Wedgy causing pants - When you write on your own facebook wall by mistake and the intended reader never reads it - The term "school boy error"...

Additions as of 17/10/07 - When you bang your head on a cupboard door as you stand up - Stubbing your toe - In-growing toenails - Bottle necking at stairs when there are too many people trying to climb - Celebrations of pointless anniversaries - Gift certificates (why are they worth the same as there monetary value when they have less commercial use? It makes a mockery of economics) - The etiquette that does not allow cash to be given as a present - Hitting your funny bone...

Additions as of 16/10/07 - People who go "all-in" on online poker games, every single hand, and ruin it for the rest of us - People who ruin things for the rest of us in any other situation, and enjoy doing it...

Additions as of 15/10/07 - When the first guess in cluedo is virtually the right one - Very faint phone lines - Mondays - Parents who make no attempt to control their children while out - Parents who make no attempt to control their children while in...

Additions as of 13/10/07 - When web pages do not load, for no apparent reason - Laptop mousepads...

Additions as of 12/10/07 - That the only reason I have old no-thrills phones is that they don't crash, but yet it still crashes - When you cannot find something in the place you know you put it - That whenever you search for something on the internet that could potentially be slightly illegal, but you are trying to find a solution to a legal problem (such as resetting my phone), the result of the search is entirely filled with people trying to do illegal things (hack phones etc) and you cannot find the solution to your problem in amongst the quagmire of shit - That I cannot understand people with strong foreign accents, especially when they talk very fast, and when you ask them to repeat themselves they think you are stupid - People that spend so long cheating on online games just so they can get an irrelevant high score - BT internet, it demands you install tons of crap before you can run it, and the home hub is so dumbed down it is almost useless...

Additions as of 11/10/07 - The amount of time it takes to scroll through my hates...

Additions as of 10/10/07 - That people still insist on looking for archived items in paper files, when the digital copy is only a few clicks away - Freshers and the fact that I will never be one again...

Additions as of 09/10/07 - People who believe they can gain status and cool factor simply by stating an arty book or film in their profile - The fact that to some people they probably do - Getting chili in your eye - Charity muggers who insist on getting them to talk to you by compliments etc, then slowly weasel money out of you especially "chuggers" who are paid to do it - The overly assy and pretentious shite that music review websites write, which tell you nothing of the music but are more just a quick gander up their own skinny backsides...

Additions as of 08/10/07 - That society will become so reliant on technology that they will forget how to do all the things that rely on common sense and skill (Chris and his GPS...) and when that technology fails, so does society - That in a paperless society, most companies still waste lots of paper and ink for no real reason because their processes are not updated - when contradictions are true - When you lose your guitar pick in the sound hole of the guitar - That nothing ever aligns in MS Word, despite how many spaces you try and put in - Internal locks in toilet doors, because they never last as long as the door....

Additions as of 05/10/07 - That photos of people very rarely give good impressions - Being average at everything and great at nothing is almost entirely useless in this world...

Additions as of 04/10/07 - Falling asleep on a night bus and missing your stop - That despite London being the busiest place in the world it is also the most lonely and desolate (I miss seeing the same people on the same daily trip) - The trainline.com system with which you can only buy tickets with one railcard, UNLESS you use the book again option after buying one ticket in which case you can select how many railcards you have (make sense of that...) - That we still live in a paper society where everything needs to be printed to be read and causes a ridiculous amount of pointless filing and storage - When you try to use an oyster card on a overland journey and then get caught at the barriers where your oyster card does not work, and then you have to pay a huge penalty fare even though you had no idea that you could not use Oyster on overland - The price of laundrettes in London - The prices in London...

Additions as of 03/10/07 - Bomb threats that cause the entire transport system of London to fall 2 hours behind all because someone forgot their baggage (probably) - Inside spotlights, they use up more energy, they are too bright, they die quicker and they are more expensive to replace - People who have no clue about order and filing and order items depending on a entirely irrelevant or arbitrary number...

Additions as of 02/10/07 - The platform attendants at train stations who blow their whistles as if they can get people on the the train faster if they blow faster and harder - Being packed into a moving sardine can - People who do not like you reading their free paper over their shoulder and turn so you cannot read it...

Additions as of 01/10/07 - Secret Tracks on CDs that are usually only there to add length to the album to make it a respectable length, and even then the "secret" is probably just the annoying tramp of a singer shouting some expletives and then laughing - When the track you are trying to find on an album is not a separate track but actually attached to another track and you have to fast forward through that track to get there (if you even know it is there...) - Emotional blackmail - Blackmail - mail then it arrives late - Deliveries of mails that are too big for your letterbox so they leave a re-send note - That you can never receive any deliveries because you work every day apart from Saturday and you know the delivery people will not turn up on Saturday...

Additions as of 27/09/07 - Festival Toilets - When the loo roll runs out and you realise too late - People who make really loud noises in the really early hours of the morning - When the only two things you really want to see or do occur at exactly the same time - Trains that take routes that go in such strange directions that they take an hour to do a 15 minute trip - Bad weather when you are camping - When you try and pull those foldable tent poles out of the canvas and they come apart and then you have to reconnect them and it takes so long...

Additions as of 25/09/07 - How whenever I over-exert myself at festivals etc, I immediately come down ill straight after, as if my body cannot handle excess - How being ill always clashes with important events (in this case starting a job) - People who try to force free papers and flyers upon you - When you really want a free paper for a journey and for once you cannot find one - How people always go on about Alanis Morissete's Irony (or lack of) - How anyone in the service industry does not really do a real job but ends up getting a ridiculous amount of money through commission for 20 minutes work (this includes estate agents, recruitment etc) - How anyone with a skill can completely screw over those people that luck such skills (plumbing, electrical, building etc) because they know nothing, and so the skilled people charge stupid money for not actually doing anything - The fact that this is just generally accepted in this country and so we pay anyway...

Additions as of 21/09/07 - That the media player icon looks so similar to the firefox icon and Rob always clicks on it by mistake...

Additions as of 19/09/07 - Waiting for phone calls that you know will never come - When you have all the time in the world to do things, be artistic, be creative, change your life, and all you do is sit around watching Wayne's World - When people talk in second person, even though you know it is about them...

Additions as of 18/09/07 - That nowhere in England sounds jazzy and interesting (take Rio or New Orleans or Barcelona... then take Leeds or Bristol or Slough...) - Headaches...

Additions as of 17/09/07 - When "One size fits all" does not fit - When you leave your clothes out to dry and it rains (standard hate...but true) - Insects that bite but are too small to see (how do they make a lump one thousand times the size of themselves?) - Keyboards that are not the standard shape and thus hamper typing...

Additions as of 13/09/07 - Because London is so large, nowhere is close. - That interviews are one big happy lie-fest and noone believes anything anyone says so ultimately you learn nothing - When bin-liners break...

Additions as of 12/09/07 (where did that week go?) - When the internet is a 10 minute walk away - The fact that I am so reliant on the internet that I hate the previous - When people say they will phone you back and never do - When people "reserve" the seat next to them on the bus or train by putting their bag there (though I sometimes do this because I have a giant bag... but only if there is loads of room, or when people just sit in the outer seat and block anyone sitting in the window seat - The disproportional amount of disabled spaces in carparks and that they are always empty - People who take the word of NME as gospel - People who take the word of GOD as gospel - Removing labels from anything (the sticky bit never comes off and it ruins whatever you were removing it from) - When you hoover a carpet and come back 10 minutes later to find loads of dust all over it - When people talk about objects and colours clashing and I just do not understand...

Additions as of 07/09/07 - How much I suck at poker - That society is built around symantic circles, if you do not know the pointless specialised lingo then you have no hope of getting a job in that area and you just sound foolish if you try - Student Living Letting Agencies (HA TAKE THAT!, noone will ever let through you NOW) - Sorting references (especially if it involves previous party) - The term Blue-Chip which according to wikipedia is so called because: "The term comes from blue-coloured poker chips, which are typically the most valuable", however a quick check of the official poker chips order tells us that blue is actually only of small worth (though apparently there are no official colour codings) - That there are no official poker chip colour codings when there really should be - That Americans cannot spell colour and try to enforce their terrible spelling upon us through their technology - When you shop for a specific item and absolutely nothing is good enough or the right size - The fact that society is so obese and I am so skinny so that no shops stock anything in my size - Little Britain - Cameos in shows (such as Neighbours) that are done just for the sake of a cameo and add nothing to the shows value...

Additions as of 06/09/07 - People who do not flush toilets - When people refuse to use urinals next to ones in use and so a queue develops for no reason - "Nicky" from the Head and Shoulders advert...

Additions as of 05/09/07 - The fact that I get more posts on my stupid hate group than I do on my own wall - When you send a text message to the wrong person, usually the person who you are talking about in that message - When your phone rings someone in your pocket and uses up all your credit - That Americans call mobiles "cell" phones - The mandatory "is" in the status on Facebook - Advert music that is inappropriate and just stops at the end awkwardly as if it is irrelevant - Being in a place where this is no public transport - Locked phones (by network I mean, not the key lock (I might actually like key locks!))...

Additions as of 04/09/07 - When serial numbers have 0 or o and you get confused between the two and then it tells you that you have an incorrect key - The delay between pressing the button and taking a picture on digital cameras - The fact that you cannot leave your car boot open for a second when it is full of all your stuff, so it requires two people to load a car....

Additions as of 03/09/07 - Fitting, in vain, things back in to their original boxes - The word "geezer" when it is not related to a hot spring...

Additions as of 02/09/07 - When you find somewhere that you would really like to go, moments before moving away - That whenever you get a song stuck in your head it is either one you hate or a song that you only know one line of, so it just keeps going round and round and round...

Additions as of 01/09/07 - People who do not get sarcasm - That multi-national chain stores always open up right next door to their rival local competitors - The queues for the chain store sprawls out onto the street and the local store is empty for no real reason...

Additions as of 31/08/07 - Circus Skills and the amount of effort people put into them for no reason other than to hurt me - Really small lap dogs - Dave's Poker luck - Beer flies - Big flies - The amount of crap that builds up in the world because people buy crap usually for other people as presents that they do not really want, so they hide it away and then bin it when they get round to moving - Cleaning windows (the smear never ever goes away!)...

Additions as of 30/08/07 - When your pay-as-you-go phone runs out of credit - When you buy a top-up voucher but Vodafone will not let you register it - When you try to contact a Vodafone help desk, but because you have no credit (because it will not let you add any) it disconnects you - When you try to top up again, it has the tenacity to suggest that you will be barred if you try again - When you go to the Vodafone Website and it is a mess and you can not find what you are looking for - When you eventually find what you are looking for only to be stopped by "technical difficulties" - Vodafone - That this facebook site is inconsistent and displays wall posts in chronological order from bottom to top and picture posts from top to bottom - That Geological change is to slow for people to appreciate...

Additions as of 29/08/07 - That because I hate so much, I cannot find any jobs I actually want to do - Everything you were told as a child was either totally false and you took it to heart, or entirely true but you ignored - When your music player runs out of battery while you are travelling and you forced to listen to the people next to you (doubled if they are children) ...

Additions as of 28/08/07 - Hoodies - Those stupid belly pockets you get on hoodies...

Additions as of 27/08/07 - The term banter, and the fact that having good banter is more important to someone than who they actually are - Writing CVs and trying to make yourself sound impressive - That everyone lies on their CV, so you do to, just to make it in this asshole of a capitalist competative world - Low sugar baked beans - Appliances that still use power when they are on standby mode...

Additions as of 26/08/07 - The AOL video website. and download manager. It lets you download videos and then plays them through Internet Explorer, which then asks for a license of some kind and then crashes... after waiting 2 hours for it to download... and it said it was FREE!.. Trying to create a screen name in AOL - AOL...

Additions as of 25/08/07 - When quotes are used totally out of context and make absolutely no sense, but are supposed to back up the writer's point...

Additions as of 24/08/07 - That there are so many classic books out there that you have to read, that will make you wise and knowledgable, but you just do not have the time to read them (or any), because the time you do have you waste doing pointless things - Cheesy web pictures on business sites of cool office workers sitting at their desks pretending it is so relaxing to work for them or hire them - My compulsion to check facebook every few minutes to see if anything has changed, even when I know it will not...

Additions as of 23/08/07 - Corked wine - "The oh-so-trendy i prefix"...

Additions as of 22/08/07 - That Nokia phone chargers are back to front which causes extreme problems when you have a square 4-way extension lead (you have to see this, or have one, to understand I think...) - Video sequences in games that you cannot skip - Unsportsmanship...

Additions as of 21/08/07 - Virgin Train carriage doors: they require you to press a button to open and then suddenly close again after a few seconds, crushing unsuspecting passengers - When you try and escape from the back of really full busses - When guitar strings snap suddenly and cut you (especially live) - Not having the right tools for the job...

Additions as of 20/08/07 - The gunk that forms at the bottom of the cup you keep your toiletries in - The layer of hard paste the forms around the end of your toothpaste tube - Getting the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube - When you find hair in your toothbrush (especially after you have used it) - Bad breath - The spelling of ridiculous (mainly because I say reediculous in my head)...

Additions as of 19/08/07 - The fact that we still care about 'Princess' Diana (or any of the royalty for that matter) - Ridiculously over-packaged post that creates infinite waste - When you are interrupted in the middle of something really important...

Additions as of 18/08/07 - The American form of advertising that places adverts not in the middle of shows, but at the start and the end of shows with none between. This means that you are forced to watch the adverts because you have to watch the end of the show, and you cannot stop watching between shows because there is no gap until eventually you are left crying yourself to sleep at night after watching 12 hours of TV in a room full of junk you never wanted (I do however admire the pure cunning of this type of advertising) - The screams of women tennis players...

Additions as of 17/08/07 - Inconsistency - When you type in e-mail addresses wrong and are not informed until 2 days later...

Additions as of 16/08/07 - Squeaky shoes - Squeaky shoulder straps - Squeaky wheels on rolling suitcases - When taxis charge a ridiculous amount for short journeys and do not go the quickest way - When you are wearing long trousers and it is raining so the bottoms get all soaked - Adverts that repeat every single break - Those companies who claim to clear people's debt but are in fact just destroying their souls...

Additions as of 12/08/07 - Bars that charge an excessive amount for tiny amounts of alcohol - When an event deliberately oversells itself, leading to ginormous queues - Events that you once you leave you cannot return - That the London Tube closes far too early - Wasps - The significance that people put on really pointless statistical facts, such as "Wow, my 300 hate!"...

Additions as of 09/08/07 - England football shirts, and people who wear them...

Additions as of 08/08/07 - People that use lack of money as an excuse for not doing anything...

Additions as of 07/08/07 - Internet adverts that pretend they are checking your computer for errors, then tell you that your computer is full of viruses and you need to download their program - People that fall for this trick and thus fund the lies - People who point at your shoelaces and say "be careful your shoelaces are undone" as if you did not know and just have not had time to do them up - People who think that you can trip over your shoelaces really easily - Licking stamps (especially if you are doing bulk mailing) - Personalised number plates, especially on ridiculously poor cars - Toilet seats that do not stay up...

Additions as of 06/08/07 - That the football section of a newspaper is always the largest section - That the second largest section is usually big brother - The Water surrounding Britain is always so cold - That the met-office can only predict the weather up to 5 days in advance - When the weather forecast is wrong...

Additions as of 05/08/07 - That feasts are no longer the staple chocolate ice cream around, and that Magnum's are just expensive choc ices, get over it - That the new Microsoft Office has a file tag that older versions of office cannot open - When loads of flys come fly into your room because it is cooler than outside and you have to have your window open because it is so hot - The paradoxical problem that is my window at night (I can't have it open because it then lets all the traffic noise in, and I can't have it closed because it is then too hot) - Problems that have no solution - When you find month old veg at the back of your cupboard, all slimey and wet - TV or Cartoon series that go out of production without ever concluding the plot...

Additions as of 04/08/07 - When cutlery is placed in the wrong cutlery slot in the drawer - That you have an idea and five seconds later have forgotten it - People who think they can make music, but are actually just trigger happy with the loop button on their fruity loops program, especially if they then go around posting their myspace page everywhere...

Additions as of 03/08/07 - Pikey (or chav) stealing bastards, who steal stuff purely for the hell of it - Facebook groups that pretend to have political wieght, if enough people join, and then everyone joins and passes invitations off to all their friends - When shops give store credit instead of refunds, especially if it is a shop you will never shop in again because the product was so shit you wanted a refund in the first place...

Additions as of 02/08/07 - (sorry missed yesterday...tired and bored and sleepy...) - Litigation and forms that one has to fill in for no real reason - Names of people that sound exactly the same, but are spelt differently (and yes I know, I'm one of them) - The way my brain has rotted down to compost over the last year while staring a computer screens and slowly losing the will to live, so much so that I cannot even solve a simple Sudoku - That when you are training a replacement for your job, you can not do or show them what you really do all day long; browse the web...

Additions as of 31/07/07 - The stem joint on tomatoes that I always choke on...

Additions as of 30/07/07 - That the word beautiful has become such a cliché of modern pop music that it is now bitter to even try and say truthfully, when in actuality it could be such a, well, beautiful word - Whenever you are queuing for anything, everyone in front of you takes three times as long as you will when you get to the front, especially cash machines, where all the students take 3 hours fretting about their thousands of pounds worth of debt and then take out ten pounds - People who reply to your questions without answering the original question you asked them - Bling - The incredibly surreal problem I seem to have with the differences in spelling dept (as in department) and debt (as in students, and credit card fiends) - Holes in pockets...

Additions as of 29/07/07 - The guilt you feel when it is really sunny outside but all you wish to do is hide inside and watch films or play games - That capitalism drives industries away from creativity, passion and soul and towards efficiency, mechanical technique and simplicity - Losing anything that is important to you, and the hassle you have to go through to sort it out - Searching for things in the morning, especially your shoes, you always find the pair you do not need first! - When you lose something that you put down only a few seconds ago - When you lose (or forget where you put) the very thing you hid away really safely because you did not want to lose it - When you are typing a message in internet explorer and you hit backspace, and then page goes back... losing all your typing - When your computer dies and you lose all your work...

Additions as of 28/07/07 - Drug dealers, especially those that fake what they are selling - People who tap the top of beer cans pretending it is stopping it fizzing up - The smell of Body Odour everywhere now that smoking ban is in place, and even before...

Additions as of 27/07/07 - Unintentional embarrassing innuendo - Ridiculous statistics that pretend to be incredibly shocking but infact do not prove or show anything when correctly understood - The 'scientists' that allow their statistics to be turned into this meaningless trash - The journalists that write this meaningless trash who are either ignore the fact it is meaningless or are incredibly stupid - Back pain - Beds without head-boards - The terrible music that goes alongside the Guardian science podcast - The fact that all job advertisements in the entire world are for recruitment consultants, and I may have mentioned how much I hate recruitment consultants, actually is that not slightly ironic? - Things that are kind of ironic, but not really - If I have not mentioned how much I hate recruitment consultants then I have now - I've already hated TV in general, but more specifically: Little Britain (It's shit), The Office (It's shit), Lost (It's Shit), Big Brother (It's shit), The Apprentice (It's shit)...

Additions as of 26/07/07 - I cannot believe I have not hated this until now... those spam posts that people do on websites (mostly MySpace) advertising their pitiful pyramid scheme or some such tripe, or their terrible music which does not justify posting on everyone's wall to inform them it it available, especially if it pretends they are your friend by adding a comment such as "how are you doing, hope you are well?" when you know full well they do not give a fucking damn - People who do not reply to e-mails...

Additions as of 25/07/07 - Career advisement tests (seriously I do not want to work in the IT sector any more, I do not care what you say, I want a fulfilling job...) - All fulfilling jobs either require lots of experience, incredible skill or ridiculous luck, none of which I have - The fact that society has created an infinite amount of mundane jobs to fund everyone's infinitely mundane lives, and you cannot escape this - People who spam the BBC news website, so that the most e-mailed stories are 5 year old articles about genital warts or some such - Computer games that are ridiculously addictive, and you play thinking 'I'm not actually enjoying this' but you continue to play until you beat it - When you go to see a film, just to see how bad it is and end up wasting a few hours of your life - On a similar note, sequals to films that do not need sequals, that are released purely to make money, and you have to go and see it because the first one was quite good, and so they do make money, so they release another sequel, and it is not until the fourth sequel that they realise that it is just becoming a joke - That last sentence was terrible, I hate it - When Microsoft Word tells you a sentence is too long and squiggles horrible green line all over it...

Additions as of 24/07/07 - Train announcements that are so muffled and quiet that you cannot understand a thing they say, until it turns out they have moved your train to a different platform, and you have missed it - The .99p culture (and anyone who thinks that £1499.99 is approximately £1400...) - The fact that my life is tainted by the fact that I now look everywhere for things to hate, just so I can post it here...

Additions as of 23/07/07 - Trying to claim money back from anyone or anything - Grown adults dressing up for the Harry Potter book release - People who write fan fiction, especially those who then claim it to be real - The joke that is the seriousness of the Harry Potter release (I really do not care if someone reads it before me)...

Additions as of 20/07/07 to 22/07/07 - So full of hate that I'm not even going to list any hates for these date... fucking weather...

Additions as of 19/07/07 - Nottingham bus card renewals... they take over 2 days to renew, so you have to remember to do it when they have more than 2 days left - Organising simple things that somehow become far more complicated than they should ever be - The inconsequentiallity of one's actions with regards to the infinite nature of the universe - The pretentiousness of statements such as the last, especially said by people who do not even know what it means...

Additions as of 18/07/07 (added 19/07/07) - When you intend to do something all day, but just never get round to it...

Additions as of 17/07/07 - When Americans add strange spellings to words for no reason... especially Lazer... that just does not make sense!...

Additions as of 16/07/07 - The pretentiousness of coffee bars that label their coffees in sizes that do not make sense, how do you choose between regular and medium? What if I actually want a Small? - People that are so far up their own asses that they don't even see the shit surrounding them...

Additions as of 15/07/07 - (missed the 14/07/07, don't you just hate that?...) - flat mobile phone batteries, at exactly the wrong moment - days when you can't remember anything - when you keep repeating yourself without realising...

Additions as of 13/07/07 - Ridiculous superstitions - Runny noses - Having to sniff all the time when you have runny noses - Organising people - Those e-mails that people forward that are not funny, especially the fifth time you have seen them - 'Logic Problems' that are not a test of logic at all, just pointless guesswork - Websites that are not sites at all but ellaborate advertising scams, and they are always very similar names to real websites...

Additions as of 12/07/07 - That funny feeling in your throat you get that tells you that you are about to come down with a horrible illness - Enormous sneezes that make your ears hurt - Fat children - Fat parents - Fat parents feeding their fat kids chocolate on the way to school (they are fucking treats dammit, not some kind of shut the hell up and be quiet trick) - The general structure of society where you wake at 7 or so ridiculously tired, you crawl through work til 5, then come home and fall asleep, only to realise that you have to go to work again, until you die...

Additions as of 11/07/07 - Early morning starts - Crap hard mattresses - Sleepless nights - People that play music in cars so loud that it makes my room shake (seriousy considering taking up a sniper position to take these people down, no-one will miss them) - The fact that in saying that, I'm probably committing an act of terrorism and will be tortured to death - Wing mirrors on buses and how they can kill...

Additions as of 10/07/07 - Any website for booking travel... why do they never offer a sort by price option? - When said websites have hidden charges all over the place (insurance, credit card charges, postage, booking fees...) - People that play the same song over and over and over (I am physically shaking with hatred over that...) - Politcal Correctness that goes so far you no longer know what to call someone when they are different to you - The way it is ok for people of certain minority group to use words, but it criminal to use those words if you are an outsider - Music in microsoft demos - The American dating system (you are WRONG dammit!!!) - Tuesdays. They are such a non-event, it is not the start of the week, it is not half way, god, what the hell is it?...

Additions as of 09/07/07 - When a situation keeps repeating itself over and over, and there is nothing you can do to stop it - Activating Windows XP - When printers get jammed - The fact that you can read a webpage all the way through and find it interesting and significant, only to find out it was posted 10 years ago and therefore useless (I want all my web pages i view DATED DAMMIT!)...

Additions as of 08/07/07 - WordArd and ClipArt posters that people create and expect you to be proud of them... like a six year old could not have done it...

Additions as of 07/07/07 - (added on the 8th) The fact that on weekends you only want to laze around and update your facebook group, but you have lots to do because you cannot do it during the week...

Additions as of 06/07/07 - Windows Vista - The fact that on said OS anything that was on a previous OS is called "Classic" (I thought the classical age was Greko-Roman?) - The fact that classic also seems to mean Small on said OS - Answerphone messages, especially when people speed through their phone number and you do not have a clue what they said - When you really need a pen - People who put URGENT as the header to anything they send (you are not important...)...

Additions as of 05/07/07 - When you are dunking a buiscuit in a cup of tea and the end falls off (it ruins both the tea and the buiscuit!) - When you add gone off milk to anything, especially tea - My inability to smell anything - When you blow on your food for hours and it still burns your tongue - The fact that blowing on your food is not polite - The whole elbows off the table joke! - The colour of mushy peas...

Additions as of 04/07/07 - Alarm clocks that you have to actively set every night (yes... I was late for work...) - Pedestrian Traffic lights that take about 5 minutes to change...